I am gonna reply the query in my headline in very literal phrases, simply to get that out the best way earlier than anybody decides to remark “it is this, duh”: Secret Stage exists for IP growth, and cash. That is it, that is virtually undoubtedly the true purpose, as a result of all of the executives care about lately is IP, why else do you assume Disney goes all in on sequels and Hollywood is discovering any sport to adapt it could actually, even when it is a bit of a foolish concept? Besides, I do not even understand how Secret Stage is supposed to do this.
The primary batch of episodes dropped this week, and I will be sincere with you, I believed they had been all a bit garbage. The nicest factor I believe I can say about any of them is that the Pac-Man episode (which we’ll come again to) was daring, and I would not even actually say that if I am being sincere. Considered at their worst, these episodes are fancy adverts for his or her respective properties, but when we’re taking a look at them that method, I believe they failed on that entrance.
Kicking issues off is the Dungeons & Dragons episode, a tabletop sport that sure has its severe moments, however is broadly generally known as a sport the place you roleplay doing probably the most ridiculous nonsense with your pals. As an alternative, we simply bought a clearly-meant-to-be epic battle sequence that I could not have cared much less about as a result of I did not get to know any of the characters, and is not that the enchantment of a world like that? It actually did not encourage me to get my mates collectively and take a look at it out.
Not one of the different episodes had been very profitable in getting me to take a look at their respective properties both, so then there’s the query of how do they stand on their very own proper? Properly, not significantly nicely to be sincere. Sifu’s episode was fairly, however only one lengthy combat scene. Crossfire’s was so uninteresting I used to be half on my cellphone the whole time. There was an try at comedy in New World’s, however it simply fell flat. Not even Keanu Reeves might save the Armored Core episode which actually was only a bunch of mechs combating one another, and I eat that s**t up usually.
To not be a father or mother within the late ’90s/ early aughts that does not actually get video video games and simply thinks that each one the violence will poison their children’ brains, however they had been all only a bit violent too! Genuinely, it felt virtually ironic how each single episode introduced had some quantity of gratuitous violence in a method or one other. As a collective piece it felt just like the very factor that assholes used to scale back video video games too, it felt wholly indifferent from what video games are and may be.
Sure, there may be loads of violence in them, however the quick run time for every episode deprives us of context that sometimes justifies that violence. I believe I truly would have appreciated the Warhammer 40K episode, with its mysterious and atmospheric vibes, however when actually each episode is stuffed with violence too, there’s nothing to make it stand out. And once I say each episode, I imply each episode! Together with the Pac-Man one.
The Pac-Man one is perhaps the goriest of all, bar that Warhammer one, with the titular lip-flapper killing beasties in more and more bloody methods earlier than chowing down on their uncooked flesh. There’s the odd reference to the precise video games like with a second the place he, a gray alien man, by the best way, not the floating yellow orb you’d assume to be Pac-Man, eats some cherries. Get it! Pac-Man! It felt like a fan movie, not that there is something mistaken with fan movies, it is simply that they can be extremely self-indulgent, and sure, typically pointlessly violent only for the sake of exploring the idea of Pac-Man, however edgy. “How revolutionary!” they write with the strongest trace of sarcasm potential.
Certain, there’s extra episodes to return subsequent week, however I actually simply do not get the purpose of Secret Stage as a collection. Regardless of being days previous, it is already dated, a relic of a time that possibly by no means existed within the first place. However I suppose, if something, we’ll not less than get some concept of what Harmony was meant to be like, for higher or worse.
